What Part Are You Called to Play in Racial Healing?
I’m not Racist. Wait, am I???? Self-protective reflexive denial keeps us from deeply exploring the ways we all have biases. We can’t help but consume stories and images that reinforce the idea that people with one skin tone are inherently better or worse than others. We can’t override autopilot thinking if we don’t acknowledge it’s on.
The context of my coaching and consulting is the workplace. So, I’ve been feeling through what role I’m meant to play to support meaningful change since Black Lives do indeed Matter. Here is where I’ve landed as of now.
Call out racism in myself and others with compassion and a focus on learning to do better. Calling it out in myself looks like noticing my thoughts when I see a person of color and checking in with the truth and fairness of any judgments. If those judgements are negative and unfounded, the next step is to ask myself how thinking such a thing makes me think better of myself. Yuck! Calling it out in others starts with privately asking if I can give some feedback. If the answer is yes, next is sharing how the thing they said or did might come across as disrespectful and any example that helped me to learn that lesson.
Be a safe space for processing - I am in no way an expert in the Black Lives Matter movement or diversity. I do know something about Psychology, and I am good at staying present with people in challenging conversations. So, if you process by talking out loud and don’t feel comfortable talking about racism with your friends, family or co-workers, I can be your person. Book a free Laser Coaching session - I won’t try to sell you coaching. Well, unless you ask for it.
Pivot in my study of Abuse of Power - Up to now my exploration has been focused in corporate settings, to help minimize fraud and sexual misconduct perpetrated by organizational leaders. My ultimate aim has been to help organizations refine selection practices to not hire or elevate predictably dangerous folks to positions of power. I already knew this was needed in our corporations and churches. And now I am compelled to look into what this looks like for law enforcement. I recognize there is a lot going on in the system and only a part the problem is weeding “bad apples.” But I think that is the part I am meant to play to make a meaningful difference.
Encourage education – There are so many great lists being shared of recommended resources. Here is a little about what I am learning.
In the 1619 podcast, I heard how slavery began in the US, the origination of blackface and so much more. The stories are fascinating and heartbreaking.
In Untamed, Glennon Doyle, discussed the importance of being an ally and accepting that we are going to accidentally say something wrong and may even be shamed for misspeaking. And we owe it to our black friends to get over ourselves, apologize, learn and work to do better.
In Brene Brown’s podcast with Ibram X. Kendi, and more deeply covered in his book How to Be an Antiracist, I learned there is no such thing as “not a racist”. There is either Racist or Antiracist. My takeaway is that racism is believing that there is a hierarchy of human value because of skin color, whether you believe lighter is superior or darker is superior…. even if you hate that you think it. Therefore, there are dark people and light people who are racist, some of whom even believe their own color makes them inferior. Also, we can think and act as a Racist in one moment and Antiracist the next. Racist beliefs have dire consequences in the distribution of wealth and power.
In Talking to Strangers, Malcolm Gladwell detailed Sandra Bland’s story and offered part of how we got to where we are today with police and race relations.
In Uncomfortable Conversations with a Black Man Emmanuel Acho covers:
The difference between white people and black people using the N word
How you have white privilege even if you’ve had a hard life
Why the riots?
Don’t All Lives Matter?
I look forward to hearing from you about your personal journey and how you can make a difference in racial healing.